Raat..

Jab kabhi mai udas hua karti thi mera sath bas mera kalam or ek diary hi diya krte the..par us roj sab kuch alag sa tha..mai puri tarah tut chuki thi.aj sawal sirf mera nahi tha mujhme ek main jo kho chuki thi use bhi dhoondh ke lana bahot jaruri ho gaya tha..warna shayad mai apni nazro me hi gir jaati..or itna gir jaati ke kabhie uth na paati,, na jaane kyu aj kalam ne mera sath dene se inkaar kar diya...

kya hua tha kaise likhti? shabdo ne jawab na diya....bas mai ek tasveer ke samne baith ke khud ko sametne ki koshish kar rahi thi...

kal tak jis shaks ke liye mai sab kuch thi...jo mujhe ek maa ke jaisi izzat deta tha, dost ke jaisa bharosa karta tha , bhai ke jaise jhagadta tha, or ek ardhangini ke jaise mujhe apne har sukh dukh ka bhaagedar banata tha...aaj kyu mu fer ke chala gya???

aj bhi yad hai mujhe wo subah jab ham bus stop par pehli bar mile the..tumne ek halke nile rang ki kameez pehni hui thi or meri nazar ja ke tumpar ruk gayi...kitna bachpana tha un aankho me...mujhe yaad aata hai tum roj aate the or mai bhi tumhari aankho ki chamak se har roj hi apne din ki shuruat krti thi...or ek din jab tum nahi aaye to mai kitni uljhan me thi ki kahin tume kuch ho to nahi gaya...mai tumme khud ko dhoondhti thi..

yuhi raah chalte kayi log milte hai par unme se kayi aise hote hai jo apki zindgi ko ek naye mukam par le jate hai..jab pehli baar tumnse baat hui to pata chala tum mujhse 8 saal chhote ho..or shayad yahi wajah thi ki mai tumme apne aks ko dekhti thi..

.ek roj tum meri paintings ki pradarshini me aaye or wahi se meri zindagi badal gayi....wo din jab tumne ek phool dekar mujhe kaha k mai apki tasveer ko bahut pasand krta hu or.....

apko bhi...

8 saal ka fasla or ye baat..ham or tum kabhie ek nahi ho skte the shayad ye samaj na hone deta..par mai aisa kaise soch skti thi...wo mujhse bahut chota tha...par mohabbat kya kabhie umr dekh kar aayi hai bhala???

mai kuch na keh paayi or muskura kar use apni baaki tasveere dikhane lagi...par na jaane kyu man me bahut dar tha na jaane kis baat ka; duniya ka ya use khone ka...

din yuhi beet te gaye or usne fir kabhi kuch na kaha shayad wo meri uljhan smajh gaya tha..umr me mujhse bahut kam tha par tajurbe me kahin aage, zindagi ke kayi imtehaan usne bakhoobi pas kiye the..

ek roj jab mai bahut bimar thi....wo mere ghar aaya, mai uth nahi paa rhi thi.usne mere liye coffee banayi or aake mere sirhaane pe baith kar mera matha sehlaane laga..ek wakt mai sehem gayi par ankhe khuli to samne wahi shaks tha jo us sheher me mera akela dost or humrahi tha..kamre me bahot sannata tha jab uski ek awaj ne ek lamhe me jindgi ke sare taar ched diye...

us kamjor lamhe me maine apni seemaaon ko tod diya or uske us sawal ka haan me jawab diya...mai hosh me thi ya shayad nahi thi...

samaj ki parwah kiye bina maine apne or uske beech ke sabhi faslo ko khtm kar diya...

rasoi me ek chammach girne ki awaz hui to mai hosh me aayi or khud ko samet kar waha se dusre kamre me chali gayi......

us kamjor lamhe me jo hua shayad nahi hona chahiye tha par us shaks ne us din ke baad har kadam pe mera sath diya..mai ye manne lagi thi har shaks ek sa nahi hota, duniya uski badaulat behtareen hoti gayi or mai apne sapno me khoti gayi,,

mai ye kaise bhul gayi ke ye to mere sapne hain jinhe tut ke bikharne ki adat hai..

aaj wo shaks achanak se mujhe kyu bhul gaya jo pichle 3 saal se mere liye apne hath par apni jaan liye ghumta tha...

pichle kayi din se uski gaaliyaan or wo thappad sirf is ummeed par seh rahi hu ke shayad ab shayad ab kuch to badlega...

par aaj mere upar itne ghinone ilzam lagane se pehle kabhi ek baar soch lete..

kya har baar rishte ko bachaane ki zimmedari meri hai????

rishto ko bachate hue mai khhud ko bhul gayi hu...

kal shayad tum bhi mujhe bhul jaao par jab tak mai jee rahi hu apne sath hi jeena hai,,use khud se alag kaise kar du??

kyuki itne ilzaamo or itne khubsoorat zakhmo ke baad ek din tum ye keh do ki mai tumhe nahi janta to koi nayi baat nahi hogi...

aaj ki raat mai is ummeed me soungi ki mai kal ki subah na dekhu.....

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